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REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

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Daemon

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Post Mon Aug 15, 2016 2:57 pm

Re: REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

You have improved your position/standing. "yours lot" is here in the meaning of general situation in life.
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Rigel

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Post Mon Aug 15, 2016 4:52 pm

Re: REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

Daemon wrote:You have improved your position/standing. "yours lot" is here in the meaning of general situation in life.

That's mostly used in a negative sense, but in any case It should be "your lot" then.
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Daemon

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Post Sat Sep 10, 2016 2:10 pm

Re: REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

I'm working on some fixes and I just stumbled on funny typo which is worth to share:
When asking William about work when Vex is already dead, William says "My problem took cake of itself" :D
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Blodcyning

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Post Tue Sep 13, 2016 11:21 pm

Re: REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

I wouldn't be so quick to change that text. If the problem being spoken of was a tangible being, perhaps a human, and if there was a cake either made partially from, or simply in the appearance of, that human, then it's possible the problem could've taken cake of itself. Taken it where, and taken it why, I do not know, but it's a possible interpretation.
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Daemon

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Post Wed Sep 14, 2016 7:39 am

Re: REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

Vex was simply killed by the player. There wasn't any cake involved :) Cake is a lie! :D
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Blodcyning

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Post Thu Nov 10, 2016 6:18 am

Re: REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

I feel it's worth sharing that version 1.5, thanks to a program, will include corrections to probably the vast majority of spelling and grammatical errors that had survived initial proofreading.
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ghostman

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Post Tue Jan 31, 2017 7:30 pm

Re: REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

Got a sentence that needs rephrasing: Image

Suggestion: I take care of things around here so they go as smoothly as possible.
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AuruM

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Post Sat Feb 18, 2017 5:53 pm

Re: REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

A minor one here in Margaret's dialogue after defeating Elisa - should be 'the sum' instead of 'them sum':

http://i.imgur.com/uAPs2AU.png
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Blodcyning

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Post Sat Feb 25, 2017 7:47 am

Re: REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

Both corrections have been accepted. Thanks for helping out.
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Muttie

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Post Tue Dec 26, 2017 11:10 pm

Re: REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

Typos:
I've found some minor typos (version 1.5.116), and a few errors (that went beyond mere typos/oversights), mostly in the dialogue of Ghouls, and as this mod is worth it (basically in every regard, from design to story to writing) I made the effort to list them while playing through the mod for my first time.
But I must point out that English is not my mother-tongue. And me pointing out typos is a bit silly actually. My English isn't bad, but at the end of the day it's more assuming than knowing. So keep this in mind and rather take this as a list of pointers you might want to check with someone who is more proficient/trustworthy regarding English. After all, some of the following points may simply be errors and misunderstandings on my part.
For the same reason I refrained, for the most part, from stylistic, usage and punctuation suggestions.

Helen
Talking with her about the settlement she says “best conditions for settlement” should probably say “for a settlement” or “for settling (down)”.

Keri
Attempt to hiring her and messing it up. She tells one to “fuck off” and the reply is “You don't know what you are passing, your bad.” There probably should be a “up on” after passing.

Tadeus
If confronting him he says ”...you came with something specific in your mind.” I think it should be “on your mind”.

David's Nanny
When returning David, the dialogue with the Nanny is “Yes” reply; “It was a mistake”. Either here is something missing (her cooperating with the kidnappers) or it should say “My mistake” (i.e. didn't mean to talk to you).

Chuck
When obeying Chuck as a male there is a typo in his dialogue. It says “and a furiously violates you”, The “a” needs to be removed or change to “and a furious violation follows.”.

Mario Carbone
After asking him to hack Zach's computer. In his info text is a typo, it says “the display of his Pip-Boye” instead Pip-Boy.

Imperial City Quest
The quest title after contacted by the Empire says: “Amperor Aran send for you” should probably be Emperor.

Scientist Holodisk/Vault 16
In the holodisk “Analysis of subject: Alien”. In the third paragraph it says “Muscu... is of is a” the second “is” needs to be deleted.

Dernus
- Asking about the master. The line is “creating single perfect race” missing an “a” before single. And I'm not entirely sure about single either. Wouldn't be “singular” better? But my English isn't good enough for that level of correcting.
- Asking about plans. The line is “and there will we settle down” needs to be “we will settle down”, otherwise it's a question.
- Asking about Children. The line is “whose objectives where same as his” should be “the same as his”.

Camp of Super mutants: Floater of mutants on lower level
“You never hear of us?” should be “You never heard of us?” or “You'll never hear of us (again).” once they've travelled east. Depending on what is meant. This may also be their broken language, but it's confusing in this case. Perhaps “You not know us?” may work better if that was the intention.

Tunrida Report Holodisk
It says “Location recorded into map” it probably should be “on map” or better “added to map”. But I may be wrong.

Thomas
- He says: “What is one sacrifice a year for the rebirth of all in contrast with those who die for the same thing in battle?” I'm not entirely sure what the intention was but “What is sacrificing one year, when others give their life in battle to achieve our salvation.” could work or “What is to one the sacrifice of a year of rebirth, in contrast (compared) to all those who died in battle (to bring the rebirth for/to everyone)?”
- “It's a reward for merit for the rebirth”. I believe “(outstanding) accomplishments” works better than “merit”.
- “disposed of mercilessly” needs to be “disposed off”, I think.
- Replying to the question “How long till my body falls apart” he says “I don't even know how long am I here” which probably should say “I don't even know how long I've been here.”
- And then he says “sign of destruction for all humans”. What about “dawn” (i.e. the beginning) instead sign. Or “proclamation” (i.e. the announcing), “imminent destruction of” (i.e. coming soon) “inevitable destruction of” (can't be stopped)? But I guess “It is a sign of destruction for all humans.” works too. Again this may only be me (and my incomplete knowledge English) and “sign” may be perfectly fine.

Rebirth Base guard outside
The guard triggers combat with the “no cooperating line” and one's reply is “You want fight, you got it, fucker!” This should probably be “You want to/a fight...” or to stay in character “You wanna fight...”.

Rebirth Base, Level 1, terminal, the video
- In the video one can “watch” on the terminal it says “encircle his/er legs & waste” wouldn't “secure” be better? Also I don't think those cylinders/cones with spirals/rings can be called “racks” (and I think it said the 3 racks circle around him/er (who is tightened to a rack type of thing). But check with a native English speaker.
- Also “the clapping and cheering can be still heard” I think it should be “can still be heard”. Not sure though. (Suggestions: never ends, doesn't cease, thunders all around the room (endlessly)”).

Leonard
- “Until they'd finally find out what it is we're trying to do here and that would be an impulse for them to redouble their efforts to destroy us.” To me the text suggested that it should be rather “If they'd find out...here, it would only be an...” or “Until the time when they finally find out...”. “Until they (would/had?)” sounds rather definite, but check this one with someone who's more acquainted with English.
- When asking him about the Talisman he says “to remind us of the duty to act so that we bring us closer to the day of rebirth.” Which feels a bit off, especially “we bring us”. Perhaps remove “act so that we” or replace it with ”do whatever it takes to” or “do everything necessary to”. Or “duty to strive/fight for (aspire) the day of rebirth.” Or “To remind us of the need of action. So that the day of rebirth will come closer (for all of us/with every deed accomplished).”
- Then he says “regardless of how far they might be” shouldn't there be an “away” after far (or after be?)?

Robert's terminal
“With a big time gaps” probably “with big time gaps”, as the context suggests several breaks.

Mimi at Rebirth Base
“Dying will be those who attack us themselves anyway.” This is very convoluted. Perhaps: “Most of them will die anyway when they attack us/when they attack us, anyway.” or (better?) “When they attack us (with their inevitable hatred) most of them will die anyway.” (in the futile attempt).

Cecilia
One can reply to her “How is it that you started to hate your job?” I think that means “When did you start to hate your job?” or “How comes (How did it happen) that you started to hate your job?” But I believe the idea was to ask when not how. I also (suspect) that the original line isn't actually wrong, but I'm not sure. Another option would be “How long since you've started to...?” for a more cheeky and provocative retort.

Chris
“I won't even try to list you it all” Perhaps “I won't even try to make you understand/give you a picture (of my schedule).” “I won't even bother/try to run down the whole list (for you).” “I won't even try to give you a complete rundown (of my to-do-list)?” Again, the original line is not necessarily wrong (?), but I feel it could be smoother.

Feargus
“It's simple I had similar job before the war” missing an “a” before similar.

Kath
“That used to be large city.” missing an “a” before large.

Geoff
- He says “cure everyone but we still can't figure how” missing an “out” after figure.
- “before the ventilation gave up the ghost” This struck me as an error, but I've checked it with my Dictionary and it seems to be correct. Still, this really feels like a very common German saying and I never heard it in English before (which is probably why it feels like an error to me, i.e. like something translated from German into English, even though it apparently isn't). Still, what about “stopped working” “bugged out” “system went haywire” “gave out on us” (i.e. run out or fail, however this may be a bit inappropriate for a ventilation system) or “malfunctioned”. Check this one with a native English speaker, and how they feel about it.
- “realize that solving this problem will take less time than the acquisition of as many donors would be needed for everyone in the rebirth”. Needs an “as” before would be (I think) or even remove “would be” in addition or rephrase to “...acquisition of the vast number of donors needed for everyone in the rebirth.”
- “Even if I alone decided to not undergo rebirth myself, I understand their impatience, but it wouldn't be right.” I think this is correct, but feels a bit rough. Perhaps: “Even though I've made the decision to not undergo the rebirth myself, I can still understand their impatience, but implementing it partly (in part) just wouldn't be right.” or “but it wouldn't be right to cure/help just a few (at a time).”
- “tall tale” could mean “telltale”. But I'm not sure how well this works for a “rumour” (should be possible, though. Telltale: 1 “a person who tells about others”, 2a “an outward indication of something concealed”, which should mean a rumour). Then again tall story/tale seems to work too (according to the Dictionary). I just never heard it used before.
- “Please try your best, so more people will die only if necessary” Feels a bit off and may need a “that” before more. or rephrase it: “Please try your best, and prevent any further/more (pointless) deaths.”

Saviour: (Or Savior if you prefer US English)
- He replies to “Can I return” with “You have a unique opportunity”. Needs to be “an unique”.

Andrew Ryaman: Personal Log Holodisk
- “small group of supermutats can butcher of a whole unit of Mutant-Hunters” It probably needs to be “off” or even just remove the “of”.
- “Death throes that have been protracted for too long” I really believe “that have been prolonged for/far too long” is better. I believe protracted is rather mechanical/physical.
- “When it came for self-extinction.” Probably should be “When it came to its self-extinction” or “When the time came for its self-extinction.” (or perhaps even just "to self-extinction"?)

Ending
- The William ending says “he shut himself in his house” the term “shut himself” sounds like suicide and it could be considered to use “isolated himself in his house” or “withdrew into (his) privacy and shut out the world, and/with all its problems”.

That's all I've found so far. Seems like a long list but considering the amount of text in the mod, I daresay, it really isn't.
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Muttie

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Post Tue Jan 02, 2018 10:16 pm

Re: REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

When entering Progema the window text reads: “A section of the...The others are stuck topside.” I would check if topside can be used this way. Terms like “above ground” “outside” or “must remain on ground level” may be more appropriate.
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Muttie

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Post Fri Jan 12, 2018 9:10 pm

Re: REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

I would like to repeat that English is not my mother-tongue. Just in case I suggest a correction that actually isn't one, and/or not needed.
It may not be necessary to repeat this again but it makes me uncomfortable telling others what to do when there is a realistic chance that I'm the one who is at fault.
For example, the Doctor Moore point I've made is a very good example of how it actually could be my misunderstanding of the situation, that is the error. In addition to the simple possibility of my English being at fault all together.

New Hope
- Looking at the rake it says: “This rake...(you can't) even conceive of a use for it.” I think it needs to be “think” instead conceive. Otherwise it may need to remove the “of”.


Rat Hole

Trevor
- Trevor says in reply to “Who's in charge?” “...the last loser who was mayoring around here...” I don't think that mayoring is a word, and it should be “governing”.

Moore
- Doctor Moore says if talking about his prices “No one of us can even step in the North Side without needing to be patched up by me afterwards...Well, if it would be worth it, anymore.” I think it needs to replace “anymore” with “anyway”. If I understand the meaning correctly. I have to say that this level of correcting slowly starts to go beyond my abilities. I'm not even entirely sure what the character is supposed to say. I assume Moore refers to “if the healing is worth the waste of medical supplies, anyway” but it could also mean “if there is even a point in healing, any more, considering the mess we're in”.

Julian
- When talking to him again he says “You again? What do you want from me again?” Stylistic it is better to remove the second “again”, or replace it with “this time”.
- When accepting Julian's final quest the reply is “What have I gotten myself into, oh well...So have at them” I think the last part should be “Let's go at 'em/them.” But I may be wrong.
EDIT: I forgot to check the dictionary. I suspected that “have at” has a meaning in English (all this of, off, from, by, at etc. words and there unique combinations are very complex in English and one of the most difficult thing to learn for beginners). Still, I should have looked it up. “Have at” is an opening attack from fencing. And “Go at” is a vehement attack. I think it's quite debatable what is better. I think from the player's perspective it's an all or nothing attack (a final strike) as it needs to wipe Alexa's gang and there is no Option to retreat. However, from Julian's perspective it's the start of an all out war (the first strike, opening attack). So this one is up to the author, really.

Natalia
- When receiving the medical supplies quest and asking about “Other ways” she says “If you don't have courage for that, the required things...” It actually does not really say what “that” means and could be changed to “If you don't have the courage, the required supplies can....”.

Alexa
- Introduction: “I'm (name) and I want just to talk to you.” Shouldn't the “just” be before the want?
- “I want to talk to you” reply “Why do you want to talk to me...You'll be dead sooner than you fall to the ground!” What about “You'll be dead, before you even hit the ground!”
- If annoyed by her accusations one can say “You know, forget that, I'm leaving.” I would instinctively put it as “You know what, forget it, I'm leaving.” But this one may be a matter of opinion.
- First purchase: “On business? So what it'll be? Energy...” Shouldn't it be “So what will it be?”
- Trying to use speech for the doctor's bag, and naming New Hope, she can reply “What? I don't know such a hellhole and I doubt somewhere like that exists. Don't try...” I think that is wrong, perhaps “I don't know such a hellhole and I doubt such a place exists (somewhere/anywhere).” or “What? I've never heard of it, and I doubt such a dump/place actually/really exists. Don't try...”
- Standard reply “I want something...different” she says “You can want. The important thing is if I want to reply. So spit it out” I think this is fine. But I'm not sure if “important” is the correct expression and/or forceful enough. Perhaps “You can want. (but) The thing that matters is if I want to reply. So spit it out.” (“But spit it out all the same.”?) would be better.
- In the floater dialogue with Harry (doctor option), Alexa accuses him of being a snitch and ends with “How can you justify yourself?”. Wouldn't a simple “Justify yourself!” work better, as it's more of an accusation (assumed to be correct), and more forceful than “What do you have to say in your defence?”.

Floater
- A battle taunt by a Leonard merc was “You never been gone over by a real pro?” Shouldn't it be “done” instead gone? And I suspect that there should be a “'ve” after you, but I have a blind spot regarding “haves” and I often forget them or add them wrongly.

Encounter
- An encounter is called “Refugees headed for Albuquerque”. Shouldn't that be “heading” as headed is past tense? I mean they started to head for AQ but are heading there now.
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Muttie

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Post Tue Jan 16, 2018 1:42 am

Re: REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

Here is a typo I've found in my notes and forgot to include:
When asking doctor Moore about his overpriced asking price he says “Do you know how hard is it to get good medicine?” The “is” and “it” need to switch position.
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Muttie

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Post Thu Jan 18, 2018 11:18 pm

Re: REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

Muttie wrote:- Standard reply “I want something...different” she says “You can want. The important thing is if I want to reply. So spit it out” I think this is fine. But I'm not sure if “important” is the correct expression and/or forceful enough. Perhaps “You can want. (but) The thing that matters is if I want to reply. So spit it out.” (“But spit it out all the same.”?) would be better.

EDIT: It's the reply to “I want to ask another question”. And another option would be: “You can want. (But) what matters is if I want to reply. So (Still), (feel free to) spit it out. (or: So why don't you spit it out, so we can find out).” But I feel the shorter the better (ignore stuff in brackets) to keep the original tone.

Muttie wrote:- In the floater dialogue with Harry (doctor option), Alexa accuses him of being a snitch and ends with “How can you justify yourself?”. Wouldn't a simple “Justify yourself!” work better, as it's more of an accusation (assumed to be correct), and more forceful than “What do you have to say in your defence?”.

EDIT: I looked at it again and I don't agree with my point any more. She is actually kind of mockingly matrimonial, it starts with “Harry, Harry” as if shacking her head, “It came to my ears that you're a snitch for Julian” and ends with “How can you justify yourself.” which fits rather well.
I think I've made the mistake as she is often abrupt in her speech and gets quickly to the point. But not in this case. Plus I write these notes down, not having the full text in front of me any more, and I sometimes remember the context wrong (excuses, excuses...).
If at all it could be softened even more to “How could you do such a thing?”. But it's just moving words around.

I think this is also a good moment to encourage again that you check everything I've post critically, and make sure you can agree with it.
This would also be a relief on my mind, as I try to avoid errors, but eventually it's unavoidable, and knowing you'll try to catch errors on my part would be a comfort.
I'm sure you do, just take this as an encouragement to continue to trust your own judgement (and not that random guy on the internet).
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Muttie

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Post Thu Feb 01, 2018 11:35 pm

Re: REPORT SPELLING OR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS

Alexa/Rat Hole
- The first “special” purchase, one reply is “I want a bit of that energy.” Nitpick suggestion but perhaps “some” instead of “a bit”.
- Talking about how those junkies can afford drugs she says “There can always be found something you can sell or exchange.” What about “There's always something (some junk) one (a desperate person) can find to sell or exchange.” or “A desperate person can always find something to sell or exchange.”
- Talking about “Who's this Julian guy” She says “...Then he framed him for the murder of some slut and started the war with him which has completely destroyed the entire town.” “started the war with him” that would be clearer as “against him” or “between them”. Alternatively you could also just remove “with him”. And a minor point is that “completely” and “entire” is a repetition of the same thing. “completely...this town” or “...which, in time, destroyed...” works, too. Like: “...Then he framed him for the murder of some slut and started the war, which, in time, destroyed the entire town.”
- Talking about Leonard “Who is he anyway” she says “Well, I don't know....he's simply a great guy...” and a reply option is “Whom did he stab?” That should be “who” instead whom.
- Reply to “Farley told me...you contribute...”, after her first explanation “Why because...I'm like that...” a reply option is “It doesn't look like that to me...and you'd try to help other's somehow other than with pitiful gifts.” Suggestion: “...to help people in other ways than with...” or just “them” instead “other's”.
- If enquiring about the doctor's bag she asks: “I have that, but I won't sell it...” perhaps replace “that” with “one”.
- Then she asks what do you want it for, and a reply option is “Such a bag can come in handy at any time, no?” The “no” is a speech characteristic that is not common in English. In English I would say “, wouldn't you agree?” or perhaps “, right?” or “, can't it?” or “, I would say/think.”. However, despite this specific effect not existing in English, you could decide to leave it as a speech characteristic, like a bit of pidgin-English. Personally, I'm not bothered by it.
- If telling her one was missing the bag among her goods she says: “Well, no wonder...the only one who could use this is doctor Moore...” Perhaps “one” or “it” instead “this”.
- Receiving her 2nd job: “Of course I have...I won't let you back off of it...” I would say either “out” instead “off” or only “back off.” and remove the “of it.”
- Asking about a better way/receiving the poison: “Hm, you're not stupid...[she puts a needle...and gets rid of air with a slow counter-pressure...It'll be enough if you inject the poison while unnoticed and get lost...” I would put a “the” before air, especially in this case. And perhaps “It'll be enough (if you/to) inject the poison unnoticed. Then get (lost/out of there).” or (considering it doesn't seem to require sneak) “It should be possible to inject the poison unnoticed and to get out (of there) in time. Julian's people aren't really bright...”
- When asking Alexa “Why did you kill Maria?” In the dialogue path when one has all the prove she says: “...Dumb bitch. It was clear to me she had to pop off...” Pop off means to disappear or die suddenly and unexpected (he popped off at the age of 80), but in her anger “go” or “die” may be better choices than pop off (which, imo, has a slightly comical tone to it).

Farley
- First time initiating dialogue “Welcome...confess your sins?” An replay option is “Not that, really. I want to ask you a few questions.” I would remove the “that”.
- If asking “what are sins?” he replies “...something had to've smashed your head if you don't know the meaning of that word...” I would suggest “...something must have hit you on the head if...”.
- If asking “who do you look after the most” he replies “The old, the sick...I provide a roof over head for many, too.” Perhaps: “For many I provide a roof over their head, too.” Or “I also provide shelter for those in need of it.”
- If asking about the South Side. “The South Side...that allows his mercenaries do anything they think of...” Needs a “to” before do and a “can” before think.
- Telling him “You should know about Alexa...” he replies “What are you saying...You should not be backtalking her like that...” I think the term is “badmouthing”, back talk is talking (boldly or impudently) to her, badmouthing is talking unfavourably about her. Other options are slander, speak ill off, or simply “talk/speak about her like that”.
- A reply option when accusing Alexa is “Think about it...and easier obtain than food...just to get another aose.” It needs a “to” before obtain and the top of the last word may have been just cut off, but it may also start with an “a” and not a “d”.

Grave Digger
- He says during the Maria quest “I hope it's clear you shouldn't go around and yell this everywhere...Maybe the only reason I'm still alive today is because there were enough deaths back then. But one more dead won't bother anyone any more...” I would put an “about” after yell (or “...shouldn't go around yelling about this.”) and I believe it needs a “not” after were, i.e. “because there were (not) enough deaths back then.” to make sense.

Julian
- “Can I ask you a question...” “Why the hell for?”... I would say “What the hell for?” and even consider to just say “What for?”. It's strong enough on it's own.
- Question “How is trade?” he says “Miserably...” It should say “Miserable...”. I've been told because Miserably is not an adjective, but an adverb, and trade is a noun.
- Question “Why do you stay?” he says “What other option...I have to see personally that son of a bitch Leonard gets what he deserves.” There should be a second “that” after personally, one for “that Leonard gets what he deserves” and one for “that son of a bitch”? But I've been told that it may be fine as “creative speech/direct speech” or it may be enough to remove “Leonard”. You may also add “...see personally to it that that son...Leonard...”. Or restructure into “I have to see that son of a bitch dead.”
- Question “What about your mercs?” He says “They just care about getting paid. Mostly, they are outcasts who would shot anybody you point at for several caps...” This is a bit repetitive (getting paid & several caps) and could be shortened to “They (are just outcasts who only care) just care about getting paid. And as long as that's the case, they (those outcast) would shot (about) anybody you point at[full stop]...” or “They are just outcasts, who would shot just about anybody you point at, for the right amount of caps (, of course) (, if the price is right).”
- Showing him the Talisman and asking “Do you know anyone who may recognize it?” He replies “Nobody like that here.” can be shortened to “Nobody here.” But I've been told both is fine.
- When reporting back after delivering the medical items, including the bag, one can say “The doctor got all...The word is there's extra money in for me.” Needs an “it” after in. Then Julian replies “Great! You bet it is...” Shouldn't that be “there” instead “it”?

Natalia
-Receiving the protection money quest: “Okay, so listen closely...Feel free to gun down that bastard if there's no way around. Just get...” I would say it needs an “it” after around.

George
For a change: I really liked his dialogue. Created a good atmosphere.

Trevor
And: Another good dialogue. I liked the tone and character.
-When returning the cigarettes one says “I've gotten those smokes for you.” Is that the right tense? I would say “I've got those...” or “I did get those...”. To which he replies “Damn, where you been so long? I've been waiting for ages!” I think it needs a “have” before you (and I would suggest not to abbreviate (i.e. where have instead where've) in this case).

Special Encounter (the Big “O”)
Teal'c
- About his weapon: “You need Strength a of 11, Perception of at least....” The “a” jumped out of place and needs to moved back before Strength.
- About parasites/hosts: “...symbiont merge is fifty percent. But if the larva matures in an the abdominal pouch of a Jaffa...” The “an” needs to go, (sorry little an).
Samantha Carter
- Reply to “is it possible to get back”: “It's just a theory, but according to our preliminary indicators...the local sun is the same type as ours sun...” Either remove “sun”, or change it to “our sun”.
- Reply to “Do you understand all this”: “I'm an astrophysicist and besides, I've work with stargate long enough...” I think this needs to be “worked” with stargate. And shouldn't stargate be plural, i.e. “stargates”? Or is it an institution, like NASA? Or is there only one? Or use “stargate technology”

Imperial City
Terry Brooke (when bumping into him as a consequence of Aids).
- If I ask for the cure he says “...is a venereal disease...You should've been more careful with who you sleep or where you do it.” The “with” should be after sleep. like “careful who you sleep with or...”. or “...where or who you do it with.” Otherwise, I've been told, it needs to be “...with whom you sleep or where...”.
- When talking him into it “[He comes back with a syringe....and make your body to become immune to it...” The “to become” is a repetition of “make” and can be removed. Or replace “make with “help” or “assist your body in becoming”.
- When using the “I'll sleep with you all!” threat he hurries away and one says “I'll wait, but don't take too long.” Could you consider to do me the favour and add [Blow him a kiss] or [You blow him a kiss] to the line. This may be more appropriate for a female but also a male could have have the cheek, especially as this is the rascal option (-5 karma). And rubbing it in seems funny.

Sexual Maniac:
The text says: “You crave ever new sexual experiences. You are willing to sleep with anything with two legs. And, from time to time, to judge by the number of legs seems like disgusting discrimination to you.”
As a suggestion: “disgusting” is a very strong word (i.e. unacceptable), which helps to emphasize, but could also be too much, and a more cheeky term could be “terrible” (i.e. a waste) or without the cheek “unfair”.
And as I like writing those pieces:
Or: “ You crave for any new sexual experience, and sleep with anything with two legs. Or, as a matter of fact, any number of legs, as long as they (can be made to) hold still just long enough./that don't run away quick enough.”
Or: “You're game for any new sexual experience. And judging by your manners, the number of legs seems to be a mere matter of who, how many or even what is available at the time.” May even add: “Doesn't that bother you, at all?”, to tickle a laugh, but it may be too judging.
(But please, feel free to ignore my suggestions. I do not consider them better.)

Childkiller:
the text says “[it means]...several less nosey bastards.” isn't the sentence structure in English “several nosey bastards less.”?
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